Life in Nigeria

The Man From Whose Loins I Became.

Hey YOU readers, amazing people always dropping a comment, followers, supporters from home and abroad, I can not stop thanking YOU for the feed backs. It has been so over whelming. I am very grateful.

As regards my two last posts Abused by the Maid and Abused By The Maid #2 I would like to clear the air that it is not just a story but a true life experience that happened to ME and I shared the experience exactly the way I remembered it. Oooh and YES I was a Fat Kid but Papa’s genes thrived eventually. My Modus Operandi is to share my real life experiences of over twenty years with YOU and believe me when I say I have had a lot of them.Some experiences will make you laugh, cry, learn from, be aware of, fascinate you etc. But all in all, I do solemnly promise to write with the sole purpose of YOUR reading pleasure.

Today, In the spirit of Father’s Day, I am going to be sharing My most treasured experiences with the Man whose loins I became i.e MY DADDY.

My Dad is a very handsome, light-skinned, tall, overly meticulous Chartered Accountant currently in his early 60’s *I got most of my physical attributes from him but my Mum’s skin tone won*. As far back as when I was less than five, I have always looked up to my Dad, He handled the academic parts of our lives while my Mum handled the health part. My Dad took it upon himself to take us to school, pick us up, helping with assignments, checking note books and he did a pretty good job. He gave us the best legacy a Dad could ever give. I have highlighted some of my most memorable experiences with my Dad just for YOU. Enjoy.

  • I am the last child of my family, so Dad always pampered me and I escaped so many punishments for that reason. Also, I have a striking resemblance with his Mum but I never met her, she passed on long before I was conceived.
  • Dad has only beaten me once in my entire life and I deserved it. Every morning, I would start crying when I heard the words; Tobi did you sleep well, It is time to prepare for school. I hated school from Day 1 and the Head mistress had to literally rip me from my Dad’s legs on the first day of school, I was crying hysterically even though I could see my siblings in the assembly hall. Good Mrs Ojo had to carry me to address the students and through out the day.
  • Every major exam that I have written, Dad would be the first to wake up, wash the dishes for me, boil some bath water for me, wake me up nicely *Dad was not in the habit of waking  us up gently on a normal day*, confirm that I was with my Mathematical Set and required forms, extra Biro, HB Pencil, Tikki 20 eraser, sharpener. Whether it was Common entrance, University diploma exam, Entry exams, JAMB etc, sweet Papa always drove me to the venue and patiently waited for me till the end of the exam.
  • Dad is the most meticulous Man I ever met, I can turn on a Medium size generator effortlessly and get all the change overs while sleep walking but My Dad still lists the procedure out all the time * turn off the pumping machine, change over inside, change over outside, do not forget its four knobs to turn on the generator, do not use the light from your phone, if You want to pump water then turn off the fridge. Whew!!!*
  • Nigerian Dads are in the habit of Farting alot and my Dad was not left behind, he would fart really loud and say You can’t say Thank You, Don’t you know that You are so lucky that My fart does not smell. *seriously Daddy*
  • When the Landline was in almost every home in Nigeria, Dad would call us from work and start asking really funny questions like Is/was their power supply? how many minutes was there power supply for? Did You pump water? how long did it take for the water to get full? Did You Padlock the gate? Are you sure it really locked? Eventually, we started turning deaf ears to the ringing phone until it became too incessant to ignore.
  • When it was Me or my Siblings birthday, the go to song once the celebrant was awake on the stereo was Hurray, I wish you happy birthday, hurray many many happy returns while being sprayed with mint Five Naira and Ten Naira notes. Then some snack from Mr Biggs when Dad returned from work. *Sigh!!! Good old days* I DIGRESS.
  • From my Primary school to University days, Dad always made me write out all the courses I registered for and results out on a block pad to be neatly placed on His reading table. If you touched any other item on that table and even replace it, Dad would be able to tell with a mere glance.
  • When I was in Secondary school, my Dad would never miss visiting and opening days until I became a senior and I did not want to be visited again because apparently it was not cool. From my first year in school, It became an anthem that there was no room for failing Mathematics, English, Physics, Chemistry, Biology. Regardless of the general performance, I could not fail. It was not open for discussion.
  • I broke the windscreen of our Volkswagen car while playing with My Sister, being a Daddy’s Baby, I was just told to go on bended knees for ten minutes, a warning for formalty sake and I still got my Gala for the night. If it was my Brother, I would be writing this in loving memory of him.
  • There was a time in Secondary School when my Mum was in the Diaspora for work and Dad had to be the only one coming for visiting days, he called me through a guardian to ask what I needed him to bring for the visiting day. I mentioned the regular essentials and then sanitary pads. Dad got me the Maxi Always Ultra for women that just had babies. I was so embarrassed and weak, I could not even utter a word and I probably threw it or gave it away.
  • There was a lazy Saturday when I wore a certain type of underwear, unbuttoned my jeans and was just lounging in the house, Dad sees this underwear and I quote.               Dad: Tobi, what are you wearing?                                                                                                 Me: Daddy it is a *certain type of underwear*                                                                     Dad: Can people wear this to the office?                                                                                  Me: Daddy, you can even wear it to church.                                                                         Dad: You are on your own o, Just be very careful.
  • There was a day I made Gravy, my Dad enjoyed it so much and asked If the gravy soup could be eaten with Amala (A very traditional Yoruba dish) *I died*
  • My Dad was so emotionally attached to a certain phone that could only call, text and serve as an alarm clock, So he asked me one day; Tobi can I use this to browse like you use Your phone *A Blackberry*, I want to check my mail *I died again* and then I had to patiently explain why the phone could that serve that purpose.
  • Dad always has a very detailed To-do list, an attribute which I inherited from him. Afterall, A short pencil is better than a long memory.
  • Recently, whenever Dad is dropping me somewhere and we are alone in the car, he starts smiling and saying; Tobi, people will be saying your Man-Friend is dropping you o, You are really enjoying, Should I wait for you to come down, take a few steps and then shout Tobi and you will reply *YES MY DADDY*. I can not stop laughing at that idea.
  • While I was away in school, Dad had two surgeries and nobody told me because Dad did not want anything to disturb my academics. My siblings told me that all he kept saying was; whatever happens, make sure Tobi goes to University. When I got back from school and heard the entire ordeal, I cried. *awwwww Papa Bear*
  • Every opportunity Dad gets, he shows me all the scars he has acquired over the years and I must say Sorry Daddy every single time for every single scar *somebody save me*
  • Dad’s anthem for everything I say and he has no reply to is; Try to be careful o. whether its I am so hungry these days and I eat like a pregnant woman or I am going to cook this and not that or No Daddy, I am not going for that wedding or I am making braids and not a weave. The reply would always be: Try to be very careful o. *Careful for what exactly, Daddy?*
  • Daddy’s reply for I love You is always a smile and Thank You, he never says I love You too but who needs to actually hear it when he shows it to me everyday.
  • I called Dad on Sunday and said Happy Father’s Day and he  replied Happy Daughter’s Day *sighs*

So here are a few of My memorable experiences with my Papa. Happy Father’s Day Daddy and I pray You are still around for at least Forty years to watch your lineage prosper and expand. I LOVE YOU Papa Bear.

Thank YOU so much for taking time out to read this, please feel free to share some of your own Daddy experiences in the comment box, like, spread the word, subscribe. xoxoxo.

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14 thoughts on “The Man From Whose Loins I Became.

  1. Yes o…Omo daddies in the house…My daddy really liked carrying me on his back…i always looked forward to when he would come back from his trip so i could hump on his back…i miss those days sha….but the day my daddy beat me ehh…..i almost saw angel micheal in person..lol

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  2. Lmaooo @ Turned you into a Hyena. Now you have me in stitches too. The role of a Dad is as important of that of a Mum. asinn. My dad can be effortlessly hilarious. God bless and keep our dads. Thank YOU sooo much for always taking time out to read and comment. It means alot to me.

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  3. T post literally turned me into a Hyena!!! *and u know how I laugh* even though I am the First born, I enjoyed all of these and so much more! I love my dad so much, it makes everyone weak. Beautiful piece, I loved the part where he’d ask if he should drive a bit and call Tobi then you reply “Yes my Daddy”

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  4. Awwww Thank You sooo much.I am delighted you enjoyed the write up. Yes, Permission granted o *Unashamed Omo Daddy ati Mummy* Yaaay. #lastborngang. I know right, the maids and helps are saddled with such responsibilities now. However, I believe a good parent will be able to create a balance between work and actually being a parent. God help US all. Thank You so much Tonia for taking time out to read and comment.

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  5. Awesome write up Tobislim.
    Permit me to conclude dat u’re an ” omo daddy” like d yoruba people will say.
    I also had some of dis advantages like u did, been the Last B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes, i did.
    I notice that the generation we have now are not getting some of these benefits because most parents are too busy, all in the name of trying to make ends meet, which have never happen……..anyways my opinion.
    Hence, House helps and Drivers now do more of d “DADDY OBLIGATIONS”
    lol……………

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Awwwww Thank You so much Victory, Yes o @ the fart reference. Yes, even I was shocked at the punishment I got. *very meagre*. Yes, If it was my brother ehn.#na die. Thank You sooo much for always taking time out to read and comment. rili appreciate.

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  7. This is very beautiful and real. 👌🏽
    I like the fart reference 😄 and the broken windshield story particularly (it wuld have been in memory of ur bro) 😂😭😭. But it is all beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

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