Personal experiences

Liar! Liar!! Pants on Fire!!!

Lets start with House keeping: My darling baby that I birthed on the 7th of June, 2016 is a month today, I have watched her grow, be famous and believe me when I say the feeling is so surreal. Happy Birthday Darling, Mama Bear loves You. Wondering if I have a daughter??? Yes I do, My daughter is this amazing blog and YOU all are her friends. *lol* gotchya. Thank YOU all for taking out time to check out this baby. YOU, yes YOU are the real deal. mmuuaahhhh.

Apologies: I  ought to have dropped at least one post throughout last week but I had a very busy Monday, left my laptop at work for the three days public holiday, started writing this post on Friday but got so busy with work and by the time I was done, It was 9.15pm *STORY OF MY LIFE*.  It is impossible to type a proper and typo free post on my phone otherwise I would have dropped a post during the weekend or public holiday. I sincerely apologize for the over sight. I AM SORRY.

My Monday has not been drama free, had a flat tyre on third mainland bridge this traffic congested morning but I am now safely typing this so suffice to say; The devil is defeated and God be praised, I got the victory. Today, I am going to be sharing another personal experience of mine with YOU. Solely for your reading pleasure. Enjoy.

It was on a bright and sunny Sunday in the  month of April. I had just flown in from the city of Abuja, Nigeria; I guess the calm air and serenity in sharp contrast to Lagos hustle and bustle made me feel/look well rested and also reflected on my brown skin. I unpacked my box while reminiscing about the lady who sat in front of me on the plane; She spent the roughly one hour of the flight making her face up, adjusting her hair, humming silently and when we landed, she immediately changed to some stilettos, got her luggage and  entered into a very sleek black car *please forgive me, I am yet to memorize names and logos of cars but it looked like a Jeep*. After unpacking, I had a quick nap and when I woke up, I was contemplating attending House fellowship later in the evening since I missed church because of my flight.

I got a call from a member who told me that the meeting for that Sunday was going to be a child christening/ naming ceremony *that meant there was going to be food, All I had eaten that day was the rather hard burger I was served on the plane so there was definitely room for food. I was sold*. I got prepared; hair, make up, dress, shoe, bag and headed out with my friend/ neighbour.


I was fashionably late and joined in the programme of the day, prayers were made, testimonies surrounding the birth of the beautiful baby girl shared, names given to the girl, offering envelopes distributed, praise and worship rendered etc. The benediction was said and  it was time for food, drinks and chit chatting. I was asked to help out with the distribution of food which I willingly obliged and I started simultaneously serving jollof rice, fried rice, fried chicken, beef and unwrapping hot moi moi/ bean cake from its leaves while still trying to look effortlessly chic. Then I started carrying trays of food and suffice to say I got a good view of everyone at the party and vice versa. Everyone was served, I got my own serving of food and started savoring the meal peacefully.

Then this brother taps me*it felt like a shove to me, I mean I could have choked or something* and I quote:

Dude: I am so sure you cannot remember me

Me: I am sorry but you are right, I can’t remember you *I am great with recognizing people, I was sure beyond reasonable doubt that I had only met this guy five minutes ago when I served him*

Dude: It is so unfair, so you can’t remember me ehn

Me: I am so sorry  but I still don’t remember you *He was so lucky we were in the gathering of fellow brethren hence my extra dose of niceness*

Dude: I was in the car that day with my Uncle when we saw you around Ogba, You stay in Ogba right?

Me: No, I do not stay in Ogba. Did we have a conversation when you saw me in Ogba or you just drove by with your Uncle?

Dude: *laughs nervously and evades my question* It is alright, I am no longer angry. Anyways let me have your number

Me: *who cares if you are upset, I would have said NO, I am not giving you my number but I was in a good mood and I needed him to leave so I could get back eating*. I gave him my number.

Dude: What is your name

Me: Tobi

Dude: Ooooh!!!! really, that is the name of my very good friend sitting over there. Please save my number. My name is Banjo(fake name) and I am a programmer. Nice meeting you

Me: Ok, cool. Bye.

I get back to my meal which didn’t taste as palatable as before. Then a little more chit chatting and I take my leave.


I get a missed call from an unknown number and I called back. lo and behold!!! It was Banjo the programmer that called. I hung up, got a good view of the number and did not pick the call again. He called me through out that week and even sent me a message to join whatsapp *I was smart enough not to give him my whatsapp line*. I ignored the call and after one week he stopped calling me.

Now, some of YOU amazing people might be wondering why I was acting so mean but you know what they say about first impressions being very important right? This dude interrupted my meal, looked at me square in the eye and lied to my face that he had seen me *or maybe my dopple ganger somewhere. The whole thing just robbed off on me wrongly.


I was suffering from a really bad cold, head ache and intense body pain but I did not want to miss the gathering of all the house fellowships within the area for that Sunday, It was going to be a business talk and I was enjoying a lecture on taking your business global,maximizing the internet, creating a Google+ account etc. Then I see Mr Banjo a few seats away but I just concentrate on the training. After the training, He walks up to me and I quote:

Banjo: Tobi, why didn’t you pick up my calls now?

Me: I saw all of them but I didn’t pick on purpose.

Banjo: Why now?

Me: Because you lied to me.

Banjo: what do you mean?

Me: I have never seen you or your uncle before.

Dude: Well, you may be wrong and I may be right

Me: No, I am right and you are wrong

Dude: Like I said, you may be right and I may be wrong

Me: No, You are wrong, you lied.

Dude: Ok, If you say so. But you should still have picked my calls

Me: *shrugs*

Dude: Ok, Please I will call you again o, pick up. I hope you will call me too?

Me: No I won’t call you.

Dude: I will call you, who knows? we may be able to help each other.

Me: *When did I say I needed help please? Is this headache progressing to amnesia?* Ok, I will. Bye.

Banjo is yet to call or text me again. I guess I bruised his ego *sorry, not sorry*. There are other ways we could have struck up an honest and mature conversation rather than starting with lies, interrupting my meal and even feigning annoyance.

PS: His very good friend’s name is Toba and not Tobi. *sighs* Mr liar! liar!! pants on fire!!!

It takes a thousand lies to cover up one lie. The truth always sets free.

Thank YOU and I hope YOU enjoyed reading this post? Please do not forget to like, comment, subscribe. xoxoxo.






4 thoughts on “Liar! Liar!! Pants on Fire!!!

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