Life in Nigeria · Life Lessons · Personal experiences

Skinny Girl Insecurities

Ever since I was able to understand the happenings in my environment, I came to an understanding that there is a bit of bias or assumption as regards the smaller size in Nigeria. Almost everyone assumed that it is so disrespectful to call someone fat or obese but if you are skinny, it is not a big deal to call you thin.

Before I was 10 years old, I was pretty indifferent about my size, I was shielded by my parents and I was the *Star Girl* in primary school so whatever I did or wore was the perfect thing. Fast forward to when I was in Boarding school, cut off from my parents, lots of students everywhere, class mates with boobs, seniors looking like Beyoncé then the insecurities started to sip in. I blended into the decor and people hardly gave me a second glance. Everyone was attaining puberty but mine was at a snail’s pace and I prayed and anticipated the days when I would add more flesh in all areas.

Then came University, the tiny skinny flat chested girl in secondary school became the cute, still skinny but now with boobs girl in University. The male attention came and I embraced my body but beneath it all, I still had some insecurities. You would never catch me wearing a leggings or some outfits; occasionally strangers on the street made snide comments about how I looked, some epic ones were biscuit bone, slim shady, pankere (cane) etc. Then in my third year in University, I found Modeling.

Modeling embraced my stature, everyone was skinny, designer’s cloths fit us perfectly, the good thing was I was born that way so I had no weight to watch and still maintained my huge appetite. The snide comments I occasionally got on the street was nothing to compare with the money and fame I was getting in the modeling career. In the industry, being told you were skinny was a compliment and when you fit into a cloth no one else fitted into was bliss, castings and shows became my safe haven, I had found my *sisters*. Modeling also did a number on my dress sense, I knew what to wear to accentuate my figure and there were more highs than lows at this time of my life.

Fast forward to the past three years where I have become a career person and I tell myself I’m done with modeling but I still stalk Kendall, Gigi, Mayowa, Tami, VS pages on Instagram and fantasize about the runway. Now my growth game has sky rocketed, my mouth is lethal, and people’s opinion don’t really bother me. Instead of walking away hurriedly, I now confront whoever it is that is talking about my body size in a condescending manner and give them a dose of my lethal mouth. Make no mistake, I love my stature, I know I will be smoking hot as I get older, I realize that while others may be a bullet, I am a song.

However, I beseech you all, when next you see a skinny person, don’t be too quick to assume they love their body just because you are aspiring to be that size, don’t be too quick to say do you eat at all, don’t be too quick to say oooh you should eat that because you need it more than I do, don’t be too quick to say your thigh is the size of my calf, don’t be too quick to say you are so tiny and I feel like if I squeeze you then you will break. Put yourself in other people’s shoes.

To see how skinny I am, go check out my Instagram page @Thetobislim. Xoxoxo.


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